


The Worst Moirail Ever

by buttmaster



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-27
Updated: 2015-01-27
Packaged: 2018-03-09 08:20:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3242768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buttmaster/pseuds/buttmaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A freshly dead Karkat has a run-in in the dreambubble. Just a short little fic about mistaken identity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Worst Moirail Ever

"First of all, fuck you!" Karkat stomped toward the tall, big-haired troll. Gamzee stuck out like Nepeta at a debutante ball. Or Gamzee at a debutante ball. Or… okay… basically everyone he knew besides Eridan, Kanaya, and maybe Feferi would stick out, to be honest.

He jabbed an accusing finger at the back of his moirail’s head. “Really? I mean really? You piepanned bulgescraping shitloaf! You stab me. Twice I might add. Because once wasn’t enough. And then drop me. Just up and fucking send me for a swim in the fucking lava sea. Which, for those playing along at home, you nook twiddler, completely… COMPLETELY… removes the need for the stabbing.” He seethed, starting to pace.

"I swear. I swear on both species of Will Smith, the fucking space tentacle monsters, and the cancerous universe frog itself, that you are the most slimeslurping, asspatting worst moirail in all of paradox space. I mean what are you even doing here? Who the fuck even killed you? Was it Terezi? Which by the way, way to not be able to let go of your failed quadrant. Time to break out the purple hair dye and buy you a cape! Right? Fuck! Will you look at me when I’m talking to you? Or at least, and this will be the only time these words will ever fall from my lips like spoiled tuber salad, fucking say something? Now is not the time to go from motherfucking Bozo to troll Marcel Marceau. When did you get so bugfucking tall!"

Kurloz Makara turned around slowly, staring down at Karkat with a mix of curiosity, amusement, and annoyance. His stitched lips pulled up into a chuckle.

"Hoooooly shit. What the fresh hell did you do to your face? ‘Welp I’m fucking dead better advertise the fact to all the other dead assholes here by just drawing a fucking skull on my face!’ You should draw a bulge too, because you are a fucking huge, slimy bulge."

Kurloz’s emotional ratio was starting to favor annoyance.

"Oh, don’t even give me that look, you nipple-chafing sludgepan. Do not. Even. Also what the fuck are you wearing? Did what scrap of fashion sense you had die with the rest of you? Booty shorts? Were your fucking trunkbeast nose underoos not enough? Take those off before someone sees." Karkat waved his hand in disgust.

Kurloz… shrugged. And then began to unzip his shorts.  
"Holy fuck. Not here. I swear. You need to lay off the sop—"

"Hey, best motherfuckin’ friend. My fuckin’ brother. I see you’ve met my brother from another… planet. Dimension. Shiiit. I don’t fuckin’ know."

Karkat turned around and saw the Gamzee he was used to. Then looked back at… ohhhh that… was not Gamzee at all.


End file.
